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Episode 3: Culture Shock!
December 9, 2007
Mahboula, Kuwait
By Mary Sincioco
“If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home.”
—James Michener
Clothing Panic
As we walked around the Al Manshar complex, the surroundings of the mall felt so familiar that I could almost forget I was in the Middle East. That is, until I spotted women in abayas (long black robes), complete with black head and face coverings. I’m embarrassed to admit that I felt almost scared of them. I looked anxiously around the mall for another woman in short-sleeves. I had been repeatedly assured (by another American female living in Kuwait), that one can pretty much wear whatever one wants here, contrary to what westerners might think.
Compared to other Middle Eastern countries, Kuwait is very westernized and liberal, in part because of all the foreign nationals living here – like Americans, British, Indians, and Filipinos. But every time I saw a woman in a full black abaya, with only her eyes peering through, I felt ashamed to have even a little skin showing. It was warm inside but I put my black jacket on anyway. Then, to my eternal bliss, I spotted a woman in short sleeves! I took off my jacket in relief.
(I’ll share more about the clothing customs here in future entries – it is quite fascinating).
Woman wearing abaya and burka.
Inescapable Conclusion?
Our joy at the apartment and its environs was overshadowed by the inescapable conclusion that my husband and I would have to avoid all physical contact in public – even handholding seemed taboo! We didn’t realize what a hardship this would be until about the hundredth time in an hour that one of us started to grab the other’s hand, only to remember the rule in dismay. I thought maybe the tour books were exaggerating and took his hand anyway as we were entering a building, only to be chastised by a guard. He made a loud “tsk tsk” and said “holding hands” followed by a litany of foreign words, which sounded even harsher because we couldn’t understand him. I wanted to shout, “We’re married! Hand-holding isn’t exactly pornographic, people!” But then I realized that maybe it is to them.
We only hold hands in the shadows…
Final Note
After several weeks and asking the advice of a few locals, we realized it was actually because we are an interracial couple that the guard reacted like that (again, there seems to be a lot of racism here). We have decided not to worry about what people think, and hold hands whenever we feel like it now. I’ve also noticed other couples holding hands, every once in a while. So maybe this is a prime example of drawing erroneous conclusions about a culture based on an isolated incident. Well, I did say in my disclaimer that I was in the throes of culture shock, right? I’m sure there will be many other occasions where my initial impressions and conclusions will be proven incorrect.
Holding hands is okay after all!
—Mary Sincioco
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